The Responsibilities of Love
by RChicken
Summary: A Short Story - Our Noble Narrator Wishes to Woo the Women of the Town and must Eliminate Possible Rivals for Their Affections.


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The Responsibilities of Love

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or  
**Ensuring a Bright Future**  
  
Suggested Rating: PG-13  
  
**Note**  
This story is intended for people who have played the Gameboy Advance version of Harvest Moon... It won't make all that much sense otherwise.  
The story was inspired by someone asking if it would be possible to keep all the girls from being wed... asked and answered ^_^  
  
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I had worked on the fam for a few weeks now, and had come to a conclusion. The women of the beautiful town I had come to live in could not be allowed to pair with the foolish men of the town, all of which disgusted me. Yet this conclusion worried me: at first, I could come up with no way to stop their budding romances.  


And, bit by bit, it came to me.

  


The doctor was the easiest. His love for milk became his downfall - I would present him with a cup or two almost daily, and the two of us became friends.

  
**OR SO IT SEEMED**   


It didn't take much effort to get him to try a few other recipes involving milk - he took quickly to a latte I had prepared and I gave him some for a few days.  
  
_Then._   
On a "chance" occasion, Elli had to visit her grandmother. Though I hate to draw an old woman into this kind of conflict, _she had little left to live for_. Poor Ellen served the cause well - as she lay sick I arrived early enough to offer the doctor a glass of vegetable latte with an additional ingredient: red magic grass. The man had served the town well; how ironic that the farmer he had helped to cure so many times would now bring sickness upon him!

  


Cliff left of his own accord. A good choice, I think. I do so dislike taking pious souls. His quietness had always unnerved me a bit, anyway.  
  
Gray was the most difficult, as I recall. He was strong, I knew, from working the forges with Sabiara. _I would have to be clever_. It took me time, but I devised a plan.  
I approached him and offered him an opportunity I knew he would jump at - he had always wanted to please the old man, so I suggested he attempt to upgrade my Pedometer with a mystrile ore. The idiot thought it possible - as the forge reached his heat I took him by surprise, pushing him into the newly birthed flames

  
  


He screamed as he incinerated.

  
  


And that left Rick. Yes... Rick. Well, I had run out of tricks, and he seemed suspicious. I believe it started when Kai had disappeared in a fishing accident -- the fool though there was truth in my stories of pirate treasure and went swimming without much thought. _I suppose he hadn't heard of the deaths of the others and had no reason to fear anyone._ Either way, he found the largest rocks I could fit in my rucksack falling in after his dive... I fished up his body and buried him in the floorboards of the Beach House. Everyone assumed he had just run out again quickly - after all, Kai had a reputation for being prone to acting first, thinking later. With Kai out of the way, Rick had nothing to divert his attention from me.  


  


It's been said "**When you want something done right, you must do it yourself**." Rick and I had never really gotten along - I had made offerings of friendship now and then, but the two of us rarely crossed paths, but when I saw the two by the hot springs I knew I had to put a stop to his growing affections with Karen. I invited her out one night and offered an endless tap of wine; It took quite a bit, but as she succumbed to the alcohol I was able to bleed her for information. The two would meet on Thursday night by the beach. Little did Rick know that he would be meeting with little more than** MY BLOODY SICKLE**.

I hid in the beach house - Kai would be happy knowing his death had served this much purpose, at least... I had taken the key from his remains. As I snuck out, Rick turned, surprised, but a quick kick knocked the fool down. His glasses had fallen to the side, and he was left defenseless. I had my dog dig a hole on the outskirts of the beach and we buried him. In pieces.  
  
There was still Carter. I knew he wanted the Harvest Goddess for himself - a slip of the tongue in confessional had provided all the proof I needed.  
  
But, really. She's not even worth it.

  
  


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Not exactly the best thing I've ever written, but there is some pretty awful stuff posted here (ask the MSTers) so it can't hurt. ^_^ Hope it brought a smile, or a chill.

  
  


-RChicken


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